Where I am this New Years is drastically different than where I was a year ago, and where I will be next year is as of now unimaginable. As the hours, minutes, and seconds tick down I am brought back to everything and everyone that has made up the only 2014 I will ever live through.
This year began in the living room of my Turkish grandmother's living room. I received gifts from my family in a moment of utter surprise and delight. I watched the countdown on the TV with mingling senses of excitement, hope, and submission to the days that would come. The year continued on, paying no mind to my wishes and desires, dragging me along behind it knowing full well I would run to keep up with whatever it subjected me to.
The first five months were spent as you would expect them to be; in Turkey. I had days of loneliness, sickness, and health. I had times of immense laughter, and times of solitude. Turkey was a life-changing experience not just because of the people I met and the language I learned. I grew into myself as a person, and now know that who I am is unchangeable no matter where I am. I drew into myself over the year. Having always been more quiet than some of my friends, I am now more serious than some can deal with. Every day involves me coming to terms with the fact that not everybody will be able to draw me out, and I am OK with that. But all of this constitutes only half of this year. The other six and a half months flew by like a hummingbird to pollen, and I have grown during those months as much as I did in the previous five. I lost old friends, and gained new ones, I attended my last year ever at summer camp, and became an intern for the Democratic Party's coordinated campaign. From the old friends I learned that not everyone is mean to stay. From the new ones, I learned that connections are insurmountable in their importance. From summer camp I have gained a love for the guitar, memories that will last a lifetime, and a sense of the maternal instinct mothers talk about. From the campaign I met senators, spoke to famous authors, organized rallies, spoke at rallies, and volunteers, dedicated, no matter how hopeless the election was, to encouraging the people of Santa Fe to get out and vote.
This year has seen me get back into the swing of American high school. It has seen me get my first C on a test, mingled with good grades. It has seen a rejection, an acceptance, and a deferment come to my inbox from colleges. I find rejection, as hard as it was, to be an important step in life; at the very least it keeps me humble.
Since January 1st one year ago I have gained twenty pounds and lost it again. I have realized that bodies change, and sometimes going back to what I had before is not possible. I have swam again, not as fast as before, but determined and strong nevertheless. I have compared myself to others in every single way, envying their humor, their intellect, their strength, their seeming lack of awkwardness whatsoever. I have compared, and I have reprimanded myself. This is me, I am loved.
Above all else this year has been love. Love from and for my Turkish family and friends. Love for my country. Love for every country I hope to go to in the future. Love for my family and friends in the U.S., who have supported me through everything. Love of life. 2014 saw some big changes in the political arena, but for us minions, what will stick in our heads the most is the changes that took place directly in our lives. I love, I have loved, and I will keep loving as long as it takes for my love to run out. 2014 is over, we cannot alter the events that led up to this very moment. All we can do is march on and out, into the twelve months of 2015.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!
Xoxo,
Izzy
P.S. New Year's resolution? Live and love every moment of every day. The future is indescribably uncertain. All we have is now. Enjoy it!
This year began in the living room of my Turkish grandmother's living room. I received gifts from my family in a moment of utter surprise and delight. I watched the countdown on the TV with mingling senses of excitement, hope, and submission to the days that would come. The year continued on, paying no mind to my wishes and desires, dragging me along behind it knowing full well I would run to keep up with whatever it subjected me to.
The first five months were spent as you would expect them to be; in Turkey. I had days of loneliness, sickness, and health. I had times of immense laughter, and times of solitude. Turkey was a life-changing experience not just because of the people I met and the language I learned. I grew into myself as a person, and now know that who I am is unchangeable no matter where I am. I drew into myself over the year. Having always been more quiet than some of my friends, I am now more serious than some can deal with. Every day involves me coming to terms with the fact that not everybody will be able to draw me out, and I am OK with that. But all of this constitutes only half of this year. The other six and a half months flew by like a hummingbird to pollen, and I have grown during those months as much as I did in the previous five. I lost old friends, and gained new ones, I attended my last year ever at summer camp, and became an intern for the Democratic Party's coordinated campaign. From the old friends I learned that not everyone is mean to stay. From the new ones, I learned that connections are insurmountable in their importance. From summer camp I have gained a love for the guitar, memories that will last a lifetime, and a sense of the maternal instinct mothers talk about. From the campaign I met senators, spoke to famous authors, organized rallies, spoke at rallies, and volunteers, dedicated, no matter how hopeless the election was, to encouraging the people of Santa Fe to get out and vote.
This year has seen me get back into the swing of American high school. It has seen me get my first C on a test, mingled with good grades. It has seen a rejection, an acceptance, and a deferment come to my inbox from colleges. I find rejection, as hard as it was, to be an important step in life; at the very least it keeps me humble.
Since January 1st one year ago I have gained twenty pounds and lost it again. I have realized that bodies change, and sometimes going back to what I had before is not possible. I have swam again, not as fast as before, but determined and strong nevertheless. I have compared myself to others in every single way, envying their humor, their intellect, their strength, their seeming lack of awkwardness whatsoever. I have compared, and I have reprimanded myself. This is me, I am loved.
Above all else this year has been love. Love from and for my Turkish family and friends. Love for my country. Love for every country I hope to go to in the future. Love for my family and friends in the U.S., who have supported me through everything. Love of life. 2014 saw some big changes in the political arena, but for us minions, what will stick in our heads the most is the changes that took place directly in our lives. I love, I have loved, and I will keep loving as long as it takes for my love to run out. 2014 is over, we cannot alter the events that led up to this very moment. All we can do is march on and out, into the twelve months of 2015.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!
Xoxo,
Izzy
P.S. New Year's resolution? Live and love every moment of every day. The future is indescribably uncertain. All we have is now. Enjoy it!
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| Our adorable little Christmas tree! |
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