A Life: Ti amo!

Merhaba!

I am so very sorry about my lack of discipline in keeping y'all up to date! Between normal life here, my online English class, and studying for the ACT (less than a month away...), blogging isn't at the top of my list most of the time. As of this week I officially have a few days less than three months left here in Turkey. AFS sent me my plane tickets, and June 10th is the day. The day I leave my family, my friends, my school, my city, my language, everything that has become home to me here in Turkey. The thought of going home fills me not with sadness, but with an excited glow at the thought of going home to my country, and an acceptance of moving onto the next part of my life, the part dedicated to college. While I will miss Turkey terribly, I realize that if I was not spending only nine months here (six in Aydin), I would not be forced to live as fully as I am now, I would not have to appreciate every moment spent with my host family and friends. I know there will be many moments this next year where instead of feeling happy and comfortable back home, I will be bored and uncomfortable in a culture that I haven't lived in for almost a year. But I'm ready to accept it. I try to live with no regrets in life, and that includes not looking back, so when I step onto that plane bound for New York on June 10th, I will not look back, but forward, and focus on creating more memories as wonderful as my ones here.

On February 10th a group of Italians arrived in Aydin to spend three weeks as exchange students. They lived with host families from my school, toured the area, went to school (although they didn't actually go to classes), and learned about the Turkish culture. The project is called Comenius, and works to form bonds between European countries (like YES!). Last year a group of twenty students from my school here spent two weeks in Italy doing the same thing, so this year was the Italians' turn. As the American exchange student I was able to be an honorary member of the group, and so on February 10th my three weeks of jumping between two cultures commenced. American and Italian cultures, while different in many ways, share the Western base, and so cultural mis-understandings are not as large as they can be between Western and Middle-Eastern cultures. With my AFS and YES training before arriving, and the past five and a half months of living here, I have an understanding and acceptance of the Turkish culture that the Italians do not have, and because I am American, I have roots and an understanding in the Italian's Western way of thinking that the Turks do not have. To my friends at school I am the representation of the West, so when the Italians offended a cultural value, didn't the like the food, or spoke Italian with each other when we were all together, my friends were aghast. "Why are they doing this? Isabel knows our culture, loves our food, speaks to us all the time" I had to explain to them that my situation here is different. I do not have a pack of fellow Americans to find comfort in, I do not have only three weeks here to look at the culture, learn a few things, and then leave. I live here. I must find comfort in the people here to get through the year, and so I do (and as for the food, well I am just special in the fact that I literally love all food everywhere). I also explained that they do not know the culture, they do not know what offends Turkish people, and that the food can't be loved by everyone. When cultural clashes occurred, I tried to explain to both sides the other's point of view, using my mix of Turkish and English to get my points across. My role as a cultural Ambassador expanded for these three weeks, so instead of simply representing the U.S., I was representing Turkey as well. It was a taste of what I will be doing for the rest of my life; showing people that Turkey is so much more than Istanbul and Islam, and that traditions such as the Hijab are more complicated that Americans like to think. It made showed me truly what the YES Program is about, and how important it is.

While the Italians were here, I realized that while the other YES students worried about me being lonely without other exchange students in my area, living here without them has benefited me greatly. It has forced me to form a community here, forced me to reach out of my comfort zone and become part of my school and family. There were, however, points while the Italians were here that I felt completely alone. The Italians had their group, the Turks were in their country, and where was I? I was the American girl who seemed part Turkish (one Italian boy actually thought I was Turkish for two and a half weeks), but who wasn't truly Turkish. I would look around at the groups and feel that I belonged in neither. So what did I do? I threw myself into the Turkish group. I tried extra hard to understand, extra hard to speak, and extra hard to become closer to my friends. The Italians were great to have here. I became really good friends with many of them, and I am trying to visit them next summer, and it made me realize how much I have learned here. I have moved past my own cultural beliefs and stereotypes, changed beliefs of mine that I have held since I can remember, and gained a new perspective on my own country. For me to fully adjust to a culture I must do it alone, and I know that now. It is scary, it is lonely, it is hard, it is tiring, yes, but it's the most rewarding thing a world trotter can do.