I can remember the moment I decided to be an exchange student. I remember the exact place on the road my mom and I were driving on when she told me, "sweetie, you should go to France as an exchange student your junior year of high school." I didn't end up going to France, but here I am, an exchange student, and it's nothing like I expected. The naive thirteen year old self that I was, I imagined a glamorous year full of new friends, a wonderful family I connected with immediately, complete freedom, maybe a boyfriend, and who knows what else. That's how I saw it up until the PDO last June. And then YES Abroad blew those expectations into a million pieces, but it still didn't fully hit me until I got to Turkey and felt the full, hard, painful blow of homesickness, the feeling of not belonging in a new family and school, the hard adjustments to a family very different from my own, the boredom of coming home after school every single day, and the self changes I must make to put myself out there, take the chances given to me to live my life fully, and take the chances given to me to accept the friendships offered. It's not a vacation, and nine months seems like an excruciatingly long time to be in this position. But what I must do is to learn those things. To adjust to my new family, to tell them what I want and don't want, but also to accept the rules that can't change. To tell them when I'm upset, to reach out beyond my comfort zone at school, and to not be afraid or shy to take the opportunities put in front of me. If I don't do those things this year will go by with my half living in this country, and half living in my head imagining what I could be doing.
With this year begun, I have gained an incredible amount of respect for other exchange students. It is an incredibly hard year, and only a strong person can do it fully.
This is a short post, with no pictures, but I felt it was something that needed to be shared. I need to stop living my life in what I could be doing, what I should say, how I should act, and just do it. This year has really opened up my eyes to that, and I hope I don't waste this opportunity.
Iyi geceler!
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